Na kandan wa !
Well. Another crazy week has come and gone, and I’m still in Africa. Let’s get down to business (you know the rest)!
On Tuesday we went to teach this one lady who has these two crazy grandkids. One of them went out on to the balcony, shut the sliding door and stripped naked, dancing as he took a bucket shower. The dancing included doing pushups, jumping jacks, and other moves that crescendoed into a grand finale of running into the glass door with his face. It was quite possibly the most difficult time I’ve ever had staying concentrated.
Later, we were walking into the church to meet another friend of ours when we heard voices behind us. Two girls who we didn’t know were following us through the gate, and kept walking until they passed us in an effort to walk inside. The doors were locked and the lights were off, but they just kept walking. Finally we had to call out to them and ask if we could help them, and they said they were just looking for somewhere to repent. We explained that they should probably go down the street to the Catholic cathedral, but they started asking questions about church and about us, so we gave them brochures and sent them on their way. And on their way out they blew kisses to us. So.
We swung by the Dime’s to drop off a Tupperware and pick up the guitar, and before we could leave Romeo asked us if we would stay with him for dinner, which meant going to this really nice restaurant and buying us a plate of ribs, fried plantains and a drink. Basically it wasn’t real life for about an hour. We chatted with him about dreams and goals, and we concluded that Romeo is just an awesome guy with an awesome vision for his country. He just wants to help his brothers become autonomous by providing them with jobs and training them to start their own little businesses, which is what 95% of all Cameroonians are currently doing. Entrepreneuriship is huge here. It inspired me to think about what I could do to make money on my own back home. I would share my ideas with you but I’m afraid you’ll steal them and make millions of dollars, so let’s just say I have big ideas.
I stepped on carpet for the first time in 5 months on Wednesday when we met with Randy (the guy baptized in India), and I miss it so bad. It was like heaven on my poor little toes.
I had African escargot at Marcelle’s, which…was gross. Haha. The escargot I know from France is really good, but this was something else. I think they were slugs and I think some of them were still alive. Just kidding, but, it tasted like they weren’t exactly cooked. All the way.
Anyway, we made up for it that night when we pooled together some money and went out to eat American style: burgers, fries, and milkshakes. They got pretty close to the real meal, but the burgers were topped with coleslaw and french fries, and the milkshake was a glass of cold Nesquik mixed with powdered milk and stirred with a spoon into a small glass. Disappointment overload, but I should’ve expected as much.
We got to see an old investigator of ours who we haven’t seen for a long time because of difficulties with his wife. He told us he wants to get baptized but that she won’t let him, and so he thinks he’s just gonna go back to being Muslim so he can marry another woman because Christianity doesn’t allow him to be polygamist. When we saw him on Thursday he said he still says his Muslim prayers but his heart is with us. I didn’t really understand his logic, but I hope he comes around eventually. It was just good to see him and talk with him.
I saw someone wearing a BYU Men’s Volleyball shirt on Friday, but when I told the guy I went to that school and asked him if I could take a picture he goes, “No you can’t take a picture, is that normal?! IS THAT NORMAL?!” and stormed away, yelling over his shoulder, “IS THAT NORMAL?!” So I felt really bad for offending him, but I didn’t mean to. This other guy standing a few feet away just looks at us and says, “Ohh you understand,” which of course we didn’t. So just imagine an Cameroonian selling shoes off the top of his head wearing a BYU shirt and be excited for me.
Later we met with a member who bought us grilled oysters on a shishkebab dipped in some thick yellow sauce. I loved it. Grilled oysters. Yellow sauce. Who would’ve known?
Elder Lundberg’s visa is expired soon, and so is mine, so we went to the immigration center here in Douala to take care of it instead of going all the way to Yaoundé, because we didn’t know you could do it here. We found out soon enough why they started sending missionaries 4 hours away to take care of it. As soon as we walked in, there was no organization in the room, just a few small desks haphazardly placed around with people sitting behind them looking around, bored out of their minds. There’s one desk with a lady dressed in uniform helping a line of people. So I asked if the other people could help us, and one says, “I’m sitting here behind a desk.” You could not haveve cut the sass that came out of her mouth with a chain saw. We did our best to talk to her and get her to help us, but in the end she just shakes her head at every paper we give her and gives us some nasty, sarcastic remark about how we don’t have the right things. Then she just starts ignoring us. So we go to the “chef de poste” who yells out the door, “Hey! Take care of these people!” and shuts the door on us. She keeps ignoring us, so when the lady who he was with leaves, we knock on the door and poke our heads in and oh. my. lanta. I’d never eve seen a child throw the fit he did. It was just incredible. He gets out of his chair and walks circles around the room, throwing his hands in the air saying “C’est domage!” like, “it’s just too bad!” and pulls out this fat stack of legal documents and says, “Do you know how to read? Read all this! This is what you need!” slamming the papers with his hand at every word. And every time we opened our mouth to ask what exactly we needed he just says “c’est dommage” again and shakes his head without even listening. Eventually, after about the 5th time of slamming the papers in our face, he walks out the door into the rest of the office and brings the scene out there, waving the papers in the air and screaming “c’est dommage” and just making a mockery of the whole thing. We’re there trying to be legal, and he’s gone absolutely crazy. Poor Elder Gailey is there and doesn’t understand a word. Elder Lundberg is getting really frustrated and my legs started sweating which I took as a bad sign. I wish you could’ve seen it (pun intended). The man was a blabbering concoction of incomprehensible, venomous spit and teeth. Eventually, we take our things and just walk out, trying to apologize for ruining everyone’s lives as he continues making a fool of himself. It was the most frustrating thing of my mission. Even Elder Gailey said he was ready to hit the guy. But. Gotta love ‘em :)
Our day went so much better after we left. Elder Stephens came in from Congo, thus breaking up the little trio we had going on. Someone paid for our taxi ride, and we met the husband of an inactive member who was finally back from his month long fishing trip, and they fed us couscous and gumbo. We quickly put the scenario at the immigration office behind us, and enjoyed the rest of our Friday. Well, until 3 in the morning when Elder Lundberg’s bed started squeaking uncontrolably and we both woke up at the same time to fix it. Half an hour later we were shoving stacks of brochures under the broken beam to fix it and finally went back to bed, only to find that the fatigue was gone and I didn’t fall asleep for another 45 minutes. That was pretty awful, but nothing could’ve been worse than what had happened earlier in the day.
We went to visit one of our friends, and while we were sitting there chatting we started hearing noises from the room behind us. It was like aggressive speaking and then someone crying. Then someone was shouting and the other was wailing. We looked up desperately to our friend who gives us this look and says, “It’s a delivrance.” Then we started hearing, “In the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus!” and then this guy walks out breathing hard and he’s another friend of ours and we’re like, “how’d it go…?” He says “good, but she’s on the ground shaking.” So later the girl comes out and she says she feels better, see ya! like it was getting late and she needed to go do her homework or something. It was pretty comical but…I’m not judging. Apparently she was saved, so that’s good.
On Saturday we went and played basketball with these Africans who were actually good, and it was really fun. Except they destroyed us. Ehem…
The rest of the day was pretty normal. We met some really cool people and taught people we already know who are amazing and who are all working towards baptism.
SUNDAY. So many people were at church. Inactives were finding each other and rejoicing with the members who were there to welcome them, and for the first time since I left the MTC I witnessed some form of emotion other than anger at the pulpit as this sweet member gave a fantastic talk on love. The Spirit was really strong, and I actually appreciated her heartfelt testimony and light stream of tears. Afterwards, about 9 people came up to me and wanted to talk to me at the same time, but no one was willing to recognize that there was some order of who was there first. They would just interrupt whoever was already there talking. And those two girls who came randomly to confess at the beginning of the week? They were there too! They explained that they kindof just put on a show for us before, and that they were actually Pentecostal sisters trying to experience other churches without judging them from what they heard or saw on TV. I just think that’d be a sweet baptismal story ;)
After church we had to go straight home and deep clean because the Gaileys were going to pick up President and Sister Cook and bring them over to see our apartment. We got to meet and visit with them for a little while, and the good news is that they’re super nice. They’re just taking everything in stride, which would be so hard for first timers in Africa but it sounds like they’re doing wonderfully. I’ll have more information on them later today when we get together for a zone conference, so I’ll fill you in next week.
Other than that, that’s about it! I miss my old companion, but Elder Lundberg is an incredible missionary and I’m really excited to continue working with him. I loved being in a trio with Elder Morin, and I’ll miss being with him all day. At least I get him for the evenings.
I LOVE YOU! Did I tell you that last week? And every week before that? You are the most incredible creation of your Heavenly Father. Of all the things He’s made, he made you unique among all of them! Seven BILLION people on the planet and you are UNIQUE! How amazing is that?! NO ONE is like you! I want to get to know you if I don’t already, and I want to know your story! Everything testifies that there is a living God who lives and loves each of us. I know that not everyone lives a peachy life, but I know that no matter the circumstances He knows your suffering and is conscious of your cries for help. Listen closely, and He will tell you what to do. If you’ve never looked to Him for help, maybe He’s just waiting for you to ask! I promise and testify that if you do He will be there to comfort and bless you in abundance. And you feel like it still isn’t working, well, shoot me an e-mail and I’ll do my best to help in whatever way I can :)
Elder Garland
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