Nkela ?! How are you?! I realized I could start every letter home for the next 5 years with a new way to say hello, how cool is that?! Anyway, another crazy week gone by.  Next week I will have been on my mission for 4 months already.  Time is so slippery here.  It really isn’t a long time at all (although at times it may feel like it). 

Last Monday was a great day because after we left the cyber café we went to this shop where they sell fixed up American stuff and bought a guitar for a member.  This guy, Romeo, just shells out money to anyone and everyone, but he’s not even rich.  He just loves everyone, and says that every time he gives out money the Lord puts some back into his pocket, so he’ll just keep giving it away!  They were selling the guitars for 100,000 CFA (about 200 dollars), but I watched on the side as one of our recent converts bargained the price down to 80,000 (if you’re following the math, that’s 160 dollars ;) ).  It was pretty incredible, but that’s how buying anything is here.  You ask the price, they give it to you, and then you immediately shoot it down and give them your own, and they usually accept!  So I’ll probably be really confused when I go to the store when I get home and the cashier refused to lower the price of anything I’m trying to buy.  We’ll see if I can’t work any miracles at Good Will, Value Village, or D.I. though… anyway, I didn’t really get to play the guitar, because after we bought it we just walked it back to Romeo’s house.  Plus the strings weren’t very impressive, but it felt amazing to hold and play a GUITAR again.  I tried tuning it up a little, broke the high E string of course, and felt like an idiot, and would have bought new strings but Romeo ended up buying some more himself.  More about that later.

On Tuesday, I saw for the first time anyone kiss on the lips.  It was just a peck, but it looked so foreign because no one ever does that in public, which I’m quite thankful for.  Those poor missionaries back in the States, where there seems to be no shame on the subject.  Then again, people here just pee on the side of the road, walk around naked, or take a shower in front of their house without any concern for others watching.  Culture is such a funny thing.

We got to help move some boxes around at the church and called it service, so we scored some bonus points there!

Still learning Douala.  My favorite (only) phrase to say is “Mbape natondi abba gita !” which means, “I love God a lot, too!”

Elder Zurcher and I came back on Wednesday to make dinner (this delicious cabbage and sausage dish), and we got the rice washed and in the pot, started defrosting our sausage, cut up the cabbage, washed and quartered like 15 potatoes and put them in another pot, struck a match and lit the stove for about 15 seconds when the flame went out.  No more gas.  The other two tanks were out too.  It was too late to get more gas, and we were starving with nothing in the fridge.  It gave us the opportunity to go down to that restaurant behind us (you know, the one that blasts music until 4 in the morning) and buy some chicken wrap things, and while we were there we contacted the barman and his boss, so that was pretty cool!

I wish I could explain this situation that made me laugh until I cried and cried and cried in the middle of this lesson.  The member we were talking to just stopped talking and started laughing with me and then everyone was laughing until I got a hold of myself.  What happened was that one of our converts was talking about how important the Gospel was to her, and she said “what’s food next to Christ?” and this really old mama sitting next to her says, “c’est la caca.” (it’s poop) matter of factly and for some reason it was just the funniest thing in the whole world, and even writing about it is making me and Elder Zurcher laugh.  Oh ma vie.  Mama Marie.  She is a hoot and a holler.

We’ve just been meeting more and more awesome people every day.  I love it.  After every first contact with someone we’ll be talking afterward and say, “wow, that guy/girl was just incredible!” and then it happens again, and again, and again!  For example, we met this 76 year old man who was just so full of love for everyone, and he had this great life story that he told us about him traveling and experiencing everything, and he talked about love like I had never heard before.  I imagine that it’s only after having lived for so long that we really start to get a grip on what this “love” thing is, and only then do we start to understand the significance of the gift and sacrifice of the Only Begotten Son of God.  I hope I will remember to reflect on that when I reach that age, because for now my mind is blown to smithereens (who even says that anymore…?).

Friday was fantastic.  We went to Romeo’s (the guy who bought the guitar) house to help his family clean up some of the debris (which meant throwing all this garbage wood and rocks onto the side of the street, which people came out of nowhere to take for themselves) that they’ve been collecting for the last couple of months as they’ve done work on putting an addition on their house.  They actually live in something you would call a house.  I’ll take some pictures later.  I caught a mouse and let it into the sewer after 4 people tried to whack it with a shovel.  Their crazy cousin came over, and in an intoxicated stupor tried to tell them to stop working on the house.  Romeo’s wife just laughed and told us he’s not right in the head.  So there’s that.  Afterwards though, their parents invited us over for this big lunch of rice, pork, plantains, and ndolé.  Everyone was surprised when they started playing a Jim Reeves record, which would have put us all right back in the West if it wasn’t for the ndolé and plantains.  On our way back home, Romeo stopped us at this restaurant and gave us 3 huge platters of fish, plantains, and salad and a large sack of bread to go.  Just because.  We decided to put together little box dinners and give them to our guards outside.  They were ecstatic.  One of them took it and held it in the air like it was the World Cup. I almost cried.

“Mshasha” means “hello” In Bamoon !

On Saturday, right as we were about to leave, one of the taximen that we contacted knocked on our door!  He had walked from way far away to the church to find us, waited there for an hour until someone told him that we lived in Bali, about an hour’s walk from the church.  We went downstairs and chatted with him for a while, and he was really sincere about wanting to learn more, so we’re excited about that.

We took a taxi out into the boonies to visit an inactive recent convert, and on our way back we saw a squirrel! I’ve never seen one here, but apparently the further you go out of the city the more animals you’ll see that aren’t on sticks for sale.

One of our other recent converts asked us to come with him to visit his sister who’s in the hospital, which means that she was stuffed in a small room with about 5 beds that are crowded together, only separated by a mosquito net that hangs over the beds.  I was surprised to find IV stands in there.  They don’t have bathrooms inside, so you have to walk out of the building to another location to relieve yourself.  It was pretty sad, and I felt helpless as I just watched these poor people sit and suffer while I was perfectly healthy. Maybe TOO healthy.  Like I needed to share my healthiness with them but could do nothing about it.  Anyway, it was nice just to visit his sister and encourage her to stay strong.

We met Mama Marie’s maybe 4’ 8” friend with a humpback and eyes that look different directions, who was quick to cackle and came hobbling over to squeeze us with surprising strength.  She was so funny.  She loves the Bible, but there’s no way she could actually read it anymore.  As she slowly parted away, she kindof hop/fell across this little stream on the path, and we thought she was going to make it when she toppled backwards with her hands and feet sticking up into the air like one of those fainting goats.  At first we were really worried, but she cackled it off and we helped her back up and she walked away talking to herself, and then we thought it was really funny, and then we felt bad for laughing about it, but now we’re doing it again.  It’s a pretty vicious cycle.

Yesterday was nutso.  We left the apartment early to go to branch council, where after an hour we were given 5 words, and then we went to go greet people at the front.  Marius (the all-star, future apostle) came out and told us the power was out, but that we couldn’t get the generator back on with Romeo’s help, but he refused to do it because the last time he did everyone got mad at him for stepping into their calling.  We called the member, Njembelé, in charge of maintaining the building, but he wouldn’t pick up, so Romeo told Marius how to do it, and we got it started, but 2 minutes later the gas ran out.  By this time, Njembelé was at church and was mad at us for touching the generator, but we told him he wasn’t there so we just did the best we could.  Romeo came out and said he was on his way to get gas, but Njembelé said he wasn’t going to touch it.  Romeo left anyway, and while he was gone the President came out and told us to just stay calm so that the Spirit could guide the problem in a healthy manner, and he would go pray about whether we should put gas in it (because putting gas in it and running it might ruin the generator because the shelter they built around it was poor and made it so the smoke that was kicked out would be sucked back in, but not putting gas in it would mean no air conditioning and no lights during the sacrament).  While the President was praying, Romeo came back with gas, Njembelé went to stop him, Romeos wife got involved, and basically it was just a big mess of yelling and people were going to leave church and Maris the super star got everyone to calm down and stay at church, and then he proceeded to give another beautiful talk on trials and forgiveness just off the top of his head, quoting scriptures and prophets and what have you.  He is golden, I’m telling you. Anyway, we called Elder Gailey and had him come to the church so that we could all sit down and just work this problem out.  Two and a half hours later, Romeo and Njembelé were hugging, and there was just another huge weight lifted off our shoulders.  We’re pretty sure this will help the branch to finally get on its feet and start growing faster as the members agree to work in love with one another.

We went to Romeo’s afterwards and got the guitar to bring back to play on P-Day.  It was like Christmas.  After visiting another brother in the hospital, we got back to the apartment and I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on it.  I replaced the strings with these weird steel-plated strings, broke the high E string again, but replaced it with the old B string and it still sounds ok.   I played it until I was supposed to be in bed, and then reluctantly gave it up for sleep.  My fingers hurt so bad.  I realized that I haven’t seen the lines in the tips of my left fingers until now; they’re usually covered in smooth, dead skin.  Now, however, they’re beet red from playing all morning this morning, and they’ll probably be bleeding tonight.  I could die tonight and be totally happy. 

Life is good, God is great, and I hope you all are doing wonderful.  I miss and love you so much! Stay happy! You deserve to be! No one else is as you as you! Go out and change the world!

Until next time!

Elder Garland