Africa 6th post

Hello again!

I apologize for the day wait on this letter, we were late getting home from the BEACH. So. Sorry. I’ll explain later.

Anyway, some cultural notes from this week.  People don’t believe in lines here.  If you’re standing at a window waiting for someone to take your bag, they’ll come up and stand as close to the front as possible, regardless of where you are.  I don’t know if they’re just clueless or that’s how it works here, but it was pretty funny as we stood there and watched 3 people come and get in front of us as we were checking bags in front of the grocery store.

Another thing: if you don’t understand right away, they come off as super frustrated and will shout at you so you understand, but they’re not actually upset.  I was so confused when I thought I offended this guy because I couldn’t understand what town he was from, so when he spelled it out like really sarcastically I felt like I offended him or something, but then he was laughing about it 5 seconds later.  I didn’t know whether to laugh with him or just look really confused or what.  My reaction was probably somewhere in between the two. 

I started learning another two dialects: Ewondo and Féfé, both of which are completely different.  It’s been so fun just asking people about their native tongues.  They are really excited to share with you how to say basic things like, “hello,” “how are you?” etc.  I love it.  It makes a great conversation topic in the taxis. 

We learned that one of our investigators used to sing and write music with this famous singer here called Petit Pays (look him up…?), and he knows Eto’o the famous soccer player for Cameroon.  I had a dream that we taught him the Law of Chastity, which went really well in my dream actually.  He said he would try to start going out with less women.  I don’t even know what he looks like.

I went on splits with Elder Morin, and he’s awesome.  We just talked the whole day about France and what it’s like to be a professor, and I felt bad because he never wanted to talk about himself.  He asked me like a zillion questions, and I was happy to respond.  He’s a great missionary, too, and it was super easy to teach side by side with him.  I feel so blessed to have such a great apartment of guys.

Elder Andriamamonjy made avocado juice for us the other night – it was heavenly.  All you do is blend 2 avocados with a couple spoonfulls of sugar and fill half the blender with water.  And it’s so good! Try it!

Elder Zurcher and I got to play with this little monkey at the house where we teach the Tignyemb family.  It was so funny because it hated us and loved anyone else who came near it.  Basically we think it’s because we’re white.  Who knew animals could be racist? It eventually took some peanuts from us, but whenever we got close it would slap at our hands and scream.  But it was still really cool to be up front and personal with a monkey! Probably won’t ever get that experience again.

We have this investigator who really wants to be baptized, but her husband was against her meeting with us.  We told her that if she wanted to be baptized she needed permission with her husband, and she got really upset and cried and set it wasn’t fair because it was a personal choice, etc. etc. etc., but that she would do it our way anyway and ask him.  We told her we would fast and pray so that he would say yes.  Her niece/neighbor, a member named Kédi, said he would never yes until his dying day.  Well, we prayed that night and got up the next morning to a text from Kédi that said she had had a dream that Marcelle (the woman who wants to be baptized) wanted to go on vacation with her friends but didn’t have the money for transport.  She knew one of her friends had money, but she was nervous to ask, but when she asked eventually the friend gave her the money.  She thought it was an answer that Marcelle’s husband would say yes, and turns out it was!  She asked that same night we talked and he said she could do whatever we wanted.  It was a huge blessing.  We were so excited that we fasted that day anyway just in thanks.  Let’s just say the pizza we made that night was heavenly. 

I made a tie! We found this really dirty, nasty dress smashed into the street, but the design on it was pretty sweet.  I stuffed it in my backpack in hopes of making a tie with it later.  I took an old tie of my companion’s and used the pad that was inside to fold the fabric around, and then I sewed it together.  It actually ended up looking pretty dang sweet!  Plus it was orange, sooo that’s the best part, other than the fact that I made it myself.  New hobby for when I go home…?

We saw this enormous tree that had fallen across the road on a car parked on the side of the street.  It was a disaster, and blocked the left side of the road, so naturally all the cars just started forcing themselves onto the opposite side into oncoming traffic.  People are pretty much used to that here anyway, so I guess it was normal. 

Sunday was fantastic.  We had 14 investigators at church, and we were actually missing quite a few others who were supposed to come.  It was formidable.  I got to bless the sacrament in French for the first time, and that was really cool too.  There were two Americans there from the Navy and Army just there on business with their respective branches, and it was great to speak real English with someone other than my companion, but I admit I felt like a social wall in between us.  I had no idea how to act around normal white people.  I feel much more comfortable slapping hands and throwing around African slang with the natives here than I do with my own kin.  What the heck.  We also had an investigator walk 2 hours to get to church, so that was awesome.  One of those guys that was just destined to meet the missionaries.  We love him already. 

Ok the most exciting part of our week was definitely going to the beach.  We got up at 6 to catch the bus by 7.  I should’ve known that African standard time even applies to public transportation.  That is to say, we got there by 6:45, the departure time had changed to 7:30, and then it didn’t leave till 8.  So we got to the beach town, Kribi, around 11.  We drove out a couple miles to the Chutes de Lobé, these falls that pour into a small bay.  It was beautiful.  Not very tall, but the view from across the bay was breathtaking.  I couldn’t take a picture that would justify what I could see with my eyes, as it is with a lot of things here.  Anyway, I took a ton of pictures anyway as we hiked up along the tumbling waters, and I’ll throw in a few for your pleasure.  We ate lunch at the base of the falls, and as the tide started to climb up the beach, we took out the soccer ball, frisbee, and Nerf football and played for the next hour or so on the beach.  I went for a run to see what was on the other side of the bay, and as I was running I just had the craziest realization that I AM IN AFRICA, RUNNING ON THE BEACH, WHAT THE.  I just stopped and started laughing because the idea seemed so ridiculous and surreal.  I could just see the map of the world, and could place myself right on the cost of Central Africa and it was just so funny to me.  I love it here.  What am I going to do when I have to talk with white people again…?

Our chauffers didn’t show up to pick us up for like an hour and a half after we were supposed to leave the beach, so by the time we got back to the bus there were people who had been waiting for over an hour to leave for home.  While we were waiting back on the beach, however, I got to play a little guitar! It was waaayyyy out of tune, the strings were rusted over 3 times, and it was tuned down about 9 steps, but it still felt so good just to hold in my hands.  The guy who it belonged to was really cool too.  A Rastafarian who believed in One Love, of course.  He loved to improvise singing and was actually wicked good at it.  It wasn’t long before we had to leave, unfortunately, but I was happy.  We crammed into an already packed bus, and I squeezed in the back with a middle-aged French man.  Here’s something to say about French culture: I talked with this man for over 3 hours as we drove home about just about everything.  Travel, food, religion, family, you name it.  When I got off and we shook hands, I still didn’t know his name.  I knew about his girlfriend, his work, what his life philosophy was, what his favorite meal was, where he’d been in the world, and didn’t know his name.  Either way, he was so cool. He looked exactly like my friend Baptiste, and acted the same too.  It was kindof trippy.  Anyway, we climbed up the stairs to our apartment sun weathered, exhausted but totally content. 

I love you all! Don’t hesitate to write me, even if I don’t get back to you.  I have less and less time to respond, but I can always read.  Thanks for everything you do.  Stay safe! Laugh, love, and pray often!

Elder Garland

5th post

Cher tout le monde,
It’s been an interesting week, like all of them before! I have all
these notes taken from Tuesday, and it turns out they’re all jokes
that I was writing down throughout the day.  Elder Morin, who replaced
Elder Lafleur, made these gangster jokes in the MTC that go something
like this: What did the gangster say when he saw everyone saluting the
flag? Disrespect! As in, this is respect. If you didn’t get it.
Anyway, I was coming up with these lame but amusing jokes while we
were in taxis and stuff (obviously I wasn’t thinking of them during
lessons………..), and I started changing it up a little.  What did the
Alaskan gangster say when he came to Africa? Snowhite! Like, there’s
no white…anyway. Go back a few weeks and you’ll read about how your
sense of humor changes on your mission.  We die here coming up with
these jokes.
On Wednesday we had a zone conference with the mission president,
President Jameson, and his wife.  All the elders from Bonabéri came
over to the couple missionaries’ (the Gaeley’s) house to meet us,
where we had this incredible meeting about what’s going on in the
mission, what’s to come, etc.  We talked about Gabon opening up after
the new couple gets here in May, and how only 4 missionaries will be
sent there, for the first time! I think it’d be so awesome to get sent
there, and I think it may happen before the end of my mission, but I
doubt I’ll be the first.  There’s others who’ve been here much longer
who will most likely be sent ahead of me.  I’m way excited for them,
whoever they are! Then President was talking about the mission being
split in the future!  We’ll be split down the Congo River, and will
turn into the Brazaaville and Kinshasa.  Since the North American
missionaries can’t go into the DRC anyway, it will make things much
easier for the presidents of the missions to manage everyone.  Since
President is being released in July, we’ll have a new mission
president, President Cook.  If the mission gets split after he gets
here, I’ll have a third president sometime down the road.  Things are
going to get super interesting here really soon.
President Jameson is an amazing person.  I had such a blast meeting
with him and talking about the work here and everything.  He’s very
inspiring, and it’s clear that he’s a man of God.  I could probably
talk with him all day.  And he’s hilarious, which makes him even more
incredible.  Anyway, we just had a great time together.  I only get to
meet with him two more times before he’s released, which is
unfortunate, but I’ll cherish each meeting.
That same day, I came down with some weird African cold.  I woke up,
went running, and was sneezing the whole time.  We came back, I kept
sneezing, my nose started running like a broken sprinkler (which
happened today actually), and my sinuses started going crazy. It
lasted all day.  I must’ve sneezed…200 times.  Maybe.
I realized that the Douala language sounds very similar to what the
Ewoks sound like in Star Wars.  For example, “have a good evening!” in
Douala is “ebyam yabwam!” and if you say that with an Ewok accent
(whatever that is) it sounds so funny.
I also learned that people here wear cologne not to attract the
opposite sex but to smell good for themselves.  It’s kindof funny.
Some of our investigators have started doing missionary work on their
own, and they ask us for more brochures and Books of Mormon to give
away.  It’s awesome.  They’re so excited about the Gospel, and they’ve
started sharing it with all their neighbors.  The only unfortunate
thing about it is that we just straight don’t have the time to teach
as many people as are interested.  Especially now. We have a chunk of
baptisms coming up, and we  really need to focus on those who are
preparing themselves for that commitment.
On Friday we went to teach an anglophone and his friend who are living
at a member’s house.  His wife fed us fufu, but this time it was made
with corn, so it was much more solid.  And they gave us a fork, which
made it much easier to eat.  It was called “fufu jammajamma,” and it
came with some sort of vegetable side.  But it was way good! The
member is a doctor with his own practice, and on the way back down to
catch a taxi home he asked us to give blessings to some of his
patients.  We went and met this older woman and her daughter, who were
both sick with something that I’ve never seen before.  The daughter’s
mouth was either really dry or white from the sickness, and the
maman’s right side of her body had started becoming paralyzed.  At
their request, we gave them a blessing, and when I opened my mouth to
start speaking English, French came out and it didn’t stop.  So I just
went with it and like always the Spirit guided my words without really
any thoughts on my part.  It’s such an incredible experience, giving a
blessing.  After the maman we were going to leave, but there was a
woman there who was a friend of the daughter, and she asked us on our
way out if we would give her a blessing of comfort.  So Elder Zurcher
gives me this big ol’ smile which apparently meant that I was supposed
to do it.  Again, just an amazing feeling came over me and I just
spoke whatever came through me by the Spirit.  The woman, after we
were done, just kept looking down and started shaking her head and
said, in French, “it’s like there’s something…” and brought her hands
up to her head, and she looked back up and thanked us a ton, and then
put her head back down and put her hands over her eyes as we were
walking out.  I wanted to stay and talk to her about what she was
feeling, but we really had to go.  I’m sure she’ll have her
opportunity to hear the Gospel soon, at least, I hope so!
Cameroonians always say “nous sommes (or ‘on est’) ensemble,” which
means, “we are together,” which I never heard in France, but I love
saying it, and love hearing it.
Oh man.  When I was sick, one of our investigators, Soeur Marlyse (the
one who got me the sanja), gave me a bottle with real honey in it.  It
was interesting tasting to say the least, but I mixed it with hot
water and it made my throat feel better.  But our member friend
Jeaques came over to help us teach one day, and he opened it to smell
it, and apparently didn’t close it all the way, because when we came
back from teaching there was about 50,000 ants marching from my desk,
down the leg, across the floor, and across the whole apartment to this
hole in the wall where they must live.  It was incredible.  I took a
video of them before we ended their crazy spree with permetherin.  The
pile they created after we swept them up was impressive.  It was
probably a good cup of dead, dry ants.  They harmless, but annoying.
Church was awesome this week.  We have an awesome member who is a
return missionary who just threw down on everyone about having phones
in church.  But he was so loving about it, I don’t even know how to
explain.  It was just an awesome talk, I was taking notes.
If there’s anything I’ve learned here, it’s that if you want something
to start at 6:00 here, you tell everyone to be there at 4:30.  It
takes so long for things to get started.  No one is ever on time, and
I’ve never seen anyone come early to anything.  It’s just the culture
here, so please be patient with me when I come back.  It’s very
possible that that rubs off on me…
There’s just so much happening here.  I believe it’s already been a
week, but I will always be amazed at how fast it’s going by.  I can’t
wait to write next week, I miss you all and think and pray about you
all the time.  Please keep in touch!
Boonya bwabwam (have a good day), je vous aime tellement (I love you
all so much) !
Elder Garland

4th post Africa

Abusine everyone ! (that’s Douala for good morning, though it may or may not be morning back home. I’ve learned it in like 3 other local dialects as well!  Because of the different tribes that existed before the French colonized the area, there’s a ton of “pateois” as they call it.  Everyone grows up and learns at least the tribal pateois of both their parents, French, and English.  It’s crazy!)

Anyway, I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that it’s already P-Day again, although everytime it comes I’m confused as to where the week went.  The beginning of the week was pretty slow, actually, but then it picked up pretty quick when our water cut out again.  Which…doesn’t exactly make sense.  You’d think it would go by slower!  I think it’s just because we’ve been working super hard.  Elder Zurcher said he’s never had such good numbers (of people taught in a week), and he’s been out here for a year!  I’m excited to be a part of the miracle that’s happening out here.  It’s just fantastic, even though some times people blow us off or there’s a miscommunication or whatever.  We just keep our heads up and look for someone else who’s ready to hear the Gospel!

Speaking of miscommunication.  The phone service here is pretty awful.  Half of the time you try to call someone, either the network is busy or it won’t even ring.  It just says, “the person you are trying to reach is unavailable,” which is 90% the fault of the carrier, which is either a Cameroonian company called MTN or Orange, a French phone company. For whatever reason, they just have bad service out here. 

Anyway, I’ve picked up on some more cultural stuff and eaten some more traditional dishes that I’m sure you’ll love to hear about!  One thing I’ve noticed is that nearly every car is either a Toyota or a Mercedez-Benz.  I know I mentioned something about being surprised to find so many nice cars here, but I don’t think I realized that they were either one or the other.  There’s a handful of French brands (Peugeot, Renaut, and Citroen, though most are Peugeot), but literally out of 41 cars, 20 are Toyota, 17 are Mercedez-Benz, and the 4 that are left fall under other.  Who knows why.  I’ll do some research during the week and get back to you (maybe).

I ate “fufu” for the first time, which people raved about before I even got here.  Apparently I was the last one in the MTC to know that fufu was a big deal in Central Africa.  Soeur Marlyse made it for us, and it was…interesting!  It’s manioc that’s been cooked into a sort of booger ball that you pull chunks out of with your fingers, dip in a sauce (for us we had gumbo sauce, which was fish bits and something green, you’ll see a picture) that’s served on the same plate, and stick it all in your mouth.  She gave Elder Zurcher and I two booger balls a piece, each one of which could easily have been the size of a baseball.  It was so hard to even finish eating the first one, and I regretted to tell her that I just couldn’t force the second one down.  It was ok, but definitely not the best thing I’ve eaten here.  My companion said they make it super good in the Congo, where he spent 6 months of his mission already. 

I’ve also eaten this bongo tchopi sauce (which was black, and I have no idea what it was made of.  When we asked, Soeur Marlyse showed us what looked like a wooden spoon, and something else that I just had no idea what it was) with 4 different types of manioc/potato/root things that were super delicious.  Don’t forget the little fish that was thrown in the middle! 

We met this guy whose brother had joined the Church and told him about it, and he had a great feeling about it, especially when he started reading the Book of Mormon. Soon after though, he moved to Douala to start training to be a navigator for trade ships and left his book at home, and said he thirsted to find the church but had no idea where it was.  Then one day, he was out just looking for a car to buy for when he got back from training, and he looked across the street and saw our sign! He was so excited, came to church on Sunday, asked us to teach him, and wants to get baptized.  We went to teach him and ended up teaching him and like 5 other people.  It was so cool.  They gave us these sweet African hugs, which are like French bisous on the cheeks, but you hug from one side to the next.  It was awesome.

The mangos are falling off the trees here.  Have I already explained that?  And the trees are huge! I swear it’s the biggest fruit tree that exists.  We walk around and just stare at the trees in hopes that one will fall down.  It’s happened twice already!  One time we were jogging in the morning and one fell right in between both of us.  It would have hurt so bad if it had hit us because they fall from such a high distance. 

I’ve been having some pretty crazy dreams, like every night.  Sometimes about zombies, sometimes about French people, sometimes about Africans.  Normal “me” dreams.  That’s about it on that subject haha. You can read my journal if you want details.

For some reason, whenever we have a huge thunderstorm it always happens at like 3 in the morning.  The thunder wakes me up first, then I kindof sit up and think of how nice the wet breeze is that’s coming through the window, and then I realize it’s raining and shoot up to shut the windows so we don’t get all dirty. Then the thunder strikes again and shakes my bones and the whole apartment and scares the poop out of me.  Then I fall back asleep, wake up in the morning and it’s like nothing ever happened! That’s happened several times now.  How bizarre, how bizarre.

One time we went to teach this guy whose brother just died, and his little brother was sitting on the “porch” playing this game where he had a paper soccer goal folded up with the back in tact, a bent bottle cap in the middle standing up, and then he used a flat bottle cap to flick a pebble at the goal.  I couldn’t imagine amusing myself like that for so long.  They just use what they have to try to have fun, and it works for them.  Bottle caps litter the paths between quartiers, which are like neighborhoods if you could even call it that.  I would say we go door to door if there were even doors in some parts of the city.  Lots of people just have a curtain that hangs down from where the door is supposed to be.  I’ve learned to love a lot of things I didn’t really realize had any benefit back home.

Soeur Marlyse says I have pretty feet.  African feet, if you will.  No arc, just flat.  That’s the way they like them haha.  I have a sweet tan line from my Chacos, but also like a million mosquito bites.

One last thing I’ve noticed – false advertisement.  It’s kindof funny, but also makes you apprehensive about buying anything outside of a reputable store like Casino or something French based.  Even then we have to sift our flour for maggots; I found a few the other day.  It was a pleasant experience.  I guess the longer you’re here though, the less you care about what you eat.  Anyway, people make fake stuff all the time, like super cheap plastic Beats headphones, and soccer jerseys with names and numbers just taped on the back, or patches sewed into the sleeves.  One of our investigators showed us this skin product he’s going to put in the market, but on the label he put “made in South Africa” so he could get a leg up in competition.  We were like, yeah that’s not very honest, but he insists that everyone does stuff like that, so it’s ok.  He’s just playing it smart! Haha, people here are nutso, but we love them.

The longer I’m here, the more I love the people, despite their craziness sometimes.  People peeing in the middle of the road, no traffic rules, etc.  It’s great.  I don’t really wanna be transferred to a new city.  The people we teach have gotten kindof attached to us, and vice versa.  I guess that’s just the life of a missionary though, and it’s not like I plan on just cutting ties with all of them.  I’ll be back some day, and I’ll try to keep in touch as much as I can.

We have a baptism this weekend, and many more planned for the end of the month.  What a wonderful thing it is to bring others unto Christ.  I only have 22 months left as of next week.  What the hecky - Elder Zurcher.

Have I talked about him much? We get along like two peas in a pod.  He’s just the best.  He was exactly what I was hoping I wouldn’t have for a companion – 19 year old Utah born and raised Mormon who never left mom and dad’s to cook or clean for himself, and yet he’s everything I could have hoped for in a companion – dilligent, loving, funny, charitable, I don’t know.  He’s just the best.  I forget the age difference sometimes.  I forget the Utah thing sometimes.  He’s twice the missionary I am, if not more, and I wouldn’t want to have been trained by anyone else. 

Gotta run away, we’re going out to eat as a district tonight. 

Love you more than the polluted stars I rarely see and miss you more than grass I never see,

Dimala !

Elder Garland

P.S.

Here's my mailing address if you ever wanna try sending me a letter...

Elder Casey James Garland

B.P 3171

Douala, Cameroon

Africa